Sunday, November 28, 2010

Breakin' the Law

Murphy's Law isn't always right.

Sometimes the toast does not land butter side down.

Once in a great while, you will actually catch the toast as it's falling.

With your left hand.

Sure it rained crumbs in a pretty sweet arc pattern.

But you caught the toast.


Monday, November 8, 2010

Isn't it awesome to be a woman?

You know how you know your bastard calendar is telling you your Special Gift from Mother Nature is only 5 days away - not that you need that crappy calendar, your hurty boobs and poor attitude is clear signal....

But you're at work, trapped in your paneled-wall cocoon, super pissed off that you didn't pack any Halloween candy in your bag today because "you don't really need it"  (DIE, Jiminy Cricket, DIE!!  Stupid conscious.), it's Monday, you had to WALK back to the office in the COLD to drop off a stupidly damaged pickup truck and check someone's PRECIOUS FREAKIN' MAIL before you can do any of your duties you were hired to do, and could it BE any HOTTER in this WORK HOLE OF DEATH and NO CHOCOLATE??!!

You remember the watermelon gum.  You dig into your purse for that sacred bag of mints and gum because DAMMIT if you don't have something sweet RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW, your day is going to end with the flash bang of the SWAT team...

And you find THREE mini-size candy bars, glowing in their deliciousness....I am woman!  Hear me munch!!

Suck it hormones, I WIN!!  Yes, I still win, even when I'm laying in the floor surrounded by candy wrappers.