Thursday, May 28, 2009

How'd they figure out that one?

I live in/near/about a beach community.  Our county has three beaches and our town/area is the middle point between Wilmington and Myrtle Beach.  We're a popular destination.

I've always believed there's a magic portal in Ohio that opens up to MB on the other side.  We see more Ohio plates than any other state (PA is a close second).  And seriously....yall need to learn how to drive!!  And tip properly.  

I would pay a fee to have a LOCAL card to flash at the stores I shop at.  LOCAL check-out lane only!!  I'm tired of waiting behind four women with three carts PACKED FULL in the Walmart.  Damn, you guys are here for a WEEK, aka SEVEN DAYS, do you really need all that crap?  I catch myself reaching for one of those cheesy astrology scrolls to stab you with when it comes time to pay and you're trying to break down who pays what.  

Almost all the locals have bumper stickers that read:

So I'm thinking about moving to Poland.  Apparently they DO have a tourist season and not only do they SHOOT them, THEY CAN THEM!!

engrish funny canned tourist
see more Engrish

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Is it September YET?

I about peed my pants when we spied a spot announcing the show's return a few weeks ago.  Now that most of my tv shows are over I just dwell on WHEN I'll be getting to oggle Jax again.  Le sigh.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Saturday, May 23, 2009


These have it:
Easter Lilly...late much?

Still don't know what these are but they took THREE seasons to bloom.

Cannas....always at the ready.

Tinsley Mae
8 lbs 2 oz
Brunswick County Niece
Already a squealer

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I learned it by watching YOU!!

From: Dad
To: Jocelyn
Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2009 9:13:23 AM
Subject: Cat
The other morning I was conferring with a Professional Cat Rassler.  He was telling me his cat died because he didn’t have any lemon juice.  In order to keep my cat from suffering the same demise, I was wondering if you knew of any ideas to get lemon juice in my cat.  Any and all ideas will be considered.  Thanks.
From: Jocelyn
To: Dad
Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2009 9:38:23 AM
Subject: Re: Cat
Professional Cat Rassler?  Please tell me he had an eye patch and a hook hand?  A professional would have some sort of battle scar(s), right?
What the heck are you supposed to do with the lemon? TO THE CAT???!!  And live??
The only thing I've seen is that cats HATE citrus so you can leave orange/lemon/lime peels in the garden to keep em out.  (We use this for the a$$hole cat across the street who LOVES to lay in the neighbors' gardens.)  And make a spray for stuff you don't want the cat to shred up.  Or you can make home made lemon spray to kill fleas on the cat.
If you are going to try to get the lemon into the cat I would suggest investing/building a miniaturizer to make the lemon much smaller and make it taste like his food.  Also, I would shrink Tahlee's claws or buy some of those falconer gloves.  Maybe a whole body suit??
Is he eating MORE plants?  I found this link to make a spray to put on plants so the cat won't keep trying to eat them.
Dammit, I'm supposed to be concentrating on work.  Now all I can think about is CATS AND LEMONS!!  
(Junior finally told Husband TO HIS FACE that he wanted a cat.  Maybe Husband will cave and Junior will stop trying to take Tahlee from you.)
From: Jocelyn  
Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2009 12:27 PM
To: Dad
Subject: Fw: Cat
Ok, I'm still waiting to hear back from you.  It's been 3 hours and I really need to know how and why you need to combine cats and lemons.
From: Dad
To: Jocelyn
Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2009 1:27:10 PM
Subject: RE: Cat
Your youngest spawn was telling me about his cat.  He died because he was lacking the Sacred Lemon Juice.  Ask him when you see him this afternoon.  He will give all the needed information.
From: Jocelyn  
To: Dad
Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2009 1:51:15 PM
Subject: Re: Cat
Oh crap!!  It's times like these I am SO GLAD I'm in this rat hole office BY MYSELF.  I have laughed until I cried over this one. I also had to take a call from one of my bosses in the middle of my laugh/cry fest without sounding crazier than he thinks I already am.  Fun times!!

I was really concerned for Tahlee.  I know he's been gnawing on the spider plant and was wondering if he had been sampling the rest of the "salad buffet."  And wondering how in the world you'd crossed paths with a "Professional Cat Rassler" in the first place. It's not like the use a lot of cranes in their training, ya know?

Junior is on the lemon juice kick because he's been watching me squeeze lemon into my water glass.  He will certainly need an eye patch and a hook hand if he tries to feed lemons to Tahlee!!  And yes, I would totally watch that show(down)!!

My Friend, Sandy

Yesterday you met my friend, Sandy.  My dead friend.  She still makes me cry a lot.

About 10 days before my friend died I had returned from vacation and announced I was getting a puppy.  A puppy that came complete with a HUSBAND.  Upon hearing this news, Sandy said, "I don't care what you think you got over on your mother, but WE will approve of this man when we meet him."  This kind of pissed me off at the time, but she was right.  I had brought every man I'd dated since the ex to CBA to pass the sniff test.

My husband never got to meet Sandy.  He didn't get to NC until a week after we'd put her in the ground.

The Saturday Sandy was killed was a busy day.  Her son had just returned from deployment overseas.  Sandy was riding her motorcycle and Mr. Lee was following behind her in the truck.  They were going to meet their son and his family for breakfast and then everyone was headed to a poker run.  We were trying to raise funds for a friend's back surgery.

As soon as I had arrived at the poker run's home base, we'd received a call about Sandy's crash.  A few went to the hospital to be with Mr. Lee and the family, the rest of us stayed and worked the event.  We were notified a few hours later that she'd passed away.

It was a crushing day, to say the least.

And I was devastated because I felt like Sandy and I had unfinished business.  I needed her approval on my pending nuptials.

Sandy's crash was less than a mile from her home.  The car caught her with the front wheel and basically, her guts all mashed up and she died as a result of those crushing injuries.  Sandy was wearing her helmet, and that fuchsia lipstick she always wore.  Her hair was pretty much "in place" and her lipstick was not even smudged.  And please remember, Mr. Lee witnessed every moment of this from the pickup he was driving right behind her.

Sandy is buried in the cemetery right across the street from the home she shared with Mr. Lee for a whole lot of years.  He still lives there.  He sees their double gravestone Every.  Single.  Day.

We visit her on the anniversary of her death every year.  We take a small memorial ride and treat Mr. Lee to lunch.  I finally took Junior to meet her this year.

That first year was HARD.  Sandy was a very active chapter member.  It was very obvious that her infectious joy was not around.  We named a chapter service award after her and it is given annually in the spirit to the honoree in which it was named.

I thought about Sandy and our unfinished business A LOT.  I would dream about her often.  My first spring at the new office we'd moved our company into, there was an empty flower pot on the front porch.  These were the days before I was CONSUMED by gardening so I wasn't really interested in that pot other than to prop the door open.

Something magical happened.

Out of no where and absolutely NO CARE, petunias started growing in that pot.  The first bloom revealed their color.  And it perfectly matched Sandy's signature fuchsia lipstick.  Those flowers made me cry, cry, CRY just as much as they made me happy.

And I sat on the porch a lot more often.  Just to stare at Sandy's petunias.  And be comforted.

My boyfriend has a 9:00 haircuts deal where they play 80's metal/hair band songs.  Our chapter meetings usually dismiss around 9:00 and I often catch this song playing and it makes me cry my eyes out:

Sandy IS an angel and flowers truly DO bloom in her name.  

Because a left turn killed her.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

An Open Letter From a Dead Motorcyclist

My name is Sandra Lee and I was killed on August 23, 2003 by a right of way violator. It is hard for me to be patient with people who say “it was just an accident.” There was my death to consider and it matters. Whatever happened has consequences and they are irrevocable and irreversible. Since I am the one that died, I think the truth is owed. I know you didn’t mean to kill me but you did. The truth is that you didn’t take the five seconds to look twice before you turned. You could have saved my life!

The truth is that you weren’t paying attention. You just didn’t see me. One very real truth is that over two-thirds of motorcyclist’s deaths are caused by drivers, not motorcyclists. When one person dies it is a tragedy but when over 2,000 people die nationwide, it becomes a statistic. The unfortunate truth is that a lane change, casual red light run, untimely cell phone call or a driver’s inattentive left turn can, and in my case did, result in death.

The truth is that the motorcycling community makes efforts to educate the driving public about the presence of motorcycles on the road. We are putting up billboards and trying to gain attention in the media. We are lobbying state governments for increases in right of way violation penalties. The saddest truth of all is that our message continues to go unheeded by the general public. There is an attitude of indifference against motorcyclists. My life was reduced to a ticket for a right of way violation. Just maybe, the person who killed me will get charged with misdemeanor death by vehicle. Probably though, the insurance company and the lawyers will get the charge reduced to a right of way violation ticket. To them, the value of my life will be reduced to a $25.00 fine.

The truth is that “misdemeanor” and “death” should never be used in the same sentence. The truth about that violation is that my life was forfeited. I can no longer be a wife, a mother or a grandmother. Because you see… sometimes when you kill a motorcyclist… you also kill a family. My husband understands that you didn’t mean to kill me, but you did.

The truth is that cars are smoother and more comfortable to drive. It is easy to forget that you are moving two tons of steel and plastic down the road. Inside that car of yours, you had air bags, seat belts and anti-lock brakes to keep you safe. I guess a collision with a six hundred pound motorcycle just wasn’t very threatening to you. Now you understand or at least I hope you understand that one more look… just five more seconds… could have saved my life.

The truth is there is an attitude of indifference by our legislators and our judicial system regarding matters of right of way violation. Perhaps they don’t understand just how vulnerable I was. Perhaps no one believes that motorcycles have as much right to be on the road as other modes of transportation. It is time for legislators, prosecutors and judges to understand when dealing with motorists who cause motorcycle crashes that most of these “accidents” are preventable. I am dead or I would tell you these things myself.

The truth is that it is ironic that I would be killed by a right of way violator. I spent the last year of my life lobbying for increased penalties for right of way violators in Raleigh. The truth is that the legislators were more concerned with the legal and insurance ramifications of increased penalties.

The truth is that throughout the ages, every minority on earth has had to fight for equality and it seems that now is the time for the 100,000 plus motorcyclists in North Carolina to stand up and demand that they have the same rights as everyone else on the road.

I hope the final truth is that, from this day forward, you will tell everyone you know that if only you would have looked twice, if only you would have taken five more seconds, you could have saved my life. Spread the word… motorcycles are everywhere.

NOTE: To continue Sandy’s work in Raleigh and ensure that, in the future, penalties exist and will be enforced for right of way violators, get involved and be part of the solution. Brunswick County CBA/ABATE of North Carolina meets on the first and third Tuesdays each month at 8:00 PM at their lodge which is located on 600 Ocean Isle Beach Rd (DAV Building), Ocean isle Beach, NC. Visit our website at for more information about how you can help. Our thanks are extended to Mrs. Lee’s family for allowing us to use their very painful loss to make a difference.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Of Mice and Elephants

If you remember anything of my MC Awareness posts, please remember this quote:

“Look for the mouse, not the elephant,” she tells the students.
“Motorcycles are often hidden behind larger vehicles.

My friend, Becky Mooney, teaches the Motorcycle Safety Awareness Program in our county high school's driver education programs.  She was recently included in this interview for our local paper.

The Brunswick Beacon
By Kathryn Jacewicz

SHALLOTTE—It takes more than knowing the signs and rules of the road before being eligible to apply for a state permit or driver’s license.

North Carolina students younger than 18 must complete drivers’ education before applying for a permit and license. Students must partake in a 30-hour classroom training, where they learn all the pertinent information for the actual test—traffic signs, driving skills and knowledge—as well information about car maintenance and control. Six of the 30 hours must be focused on driving under the influence information.

Debra Hollis, of Brunswick Driving School, teaches a 10-day drivers’ education course at all three county high schools, and said while the course is intensive for the students, it takes a lot of volunteers and many volunteered hours to make it possible.

Hollis teaches the courses continually throughout the year, so many of her guest speakers come and present every two weeks, for an hour or two each time. Two of the regular speakers are Sgt. 1st Class Brian Hakey and Staff Sgt. Jason Russell, from the Army base at Sunny Point.

Hakey has been a train engineer in the Army for more than 20 years, and said he volunteers his time to teach students about driving safety and trains due to what he’s seen while on the railroads.

The two are part of Operation Lifesaver, a train safety program that teaches the importance of being alert and aware in the presence of trains.

Hakey shared a story with the students about a truck that tried to cross the track when his train was coming. His train hit the truck, and killed three little girls inside it. During another trip, two girls were walking along the tracks with their backs turned to the train, both listening to iPods. One heard the train and one did not. Both were struck and killed.

After applying the brake, “There’s nothing more I can do as an engineer,” he said.

Hakey told the students every 90 minutes across the country, there’s a train accident. And most often, those accidents occur within 25 minutes of the victim’s home.

If a train sees a vehicle in its path or sees someone in it’s way, it often takes too long to stop and an accident is unavoidable. A typical train, Hakey said, weighs about 12 million pounds, and when traveling at a speed of 55 mph, takes about a mile—18 football fields—to come to a complete stop.

“When I want to stop my train in downtown Southport, I begin to apply the brakes in Boiling Spring Lakes,” he said.

The impact of a train on a car is equivalent to a can running over a 12-ounce soda can.

“Most of the time, I don’t even feel it,” Hakey said of hitting a vehicle. “I don’t even feel a bump.”

Russell told the students most of the train accidents happen at railroad crossings that have flashing warning lights and safety gates. While many vehicles choose to go around the gates, Russell said this is not only dangerous but also illegal.

A driver caught going around gates can receive up to four tickets—one for disobeying warning lights, one for crossing on a legally closed road, one for being in the oncoming traffic lane while going around the gate and one for trespassing, as the rail is considered to be a private road.

People walking along railroad tracks at any time can expect to be ticketed if seen by a public official. The railroad is private property, owned by the railroad companies.

Tyler Benton, ninth-grader, said he knew most of the information presented by Hakey and Russell, but he didn’t realize trains moved so fast.

Kayla Taylor, ninth-grader, said she used to play on the railroad tracks when she lived in New York.

“Now I’m not,” she said, not realizing how powerful a train’s impact on a vehicle or human really is.

Hakey said train operators should expect to be involved in at least one accident or fatality in their careers, but after it happens, it can leave a lasting impression that’s hard to shake.

“I was out of work for a month after my first [fatality],” he said. “As a train engineer, you have to list with that emotionally. We don’t want to hurt another person.”

So Hakey and Russell volunteer their time to teach train safety to new drivers and also to local civic groups and organizations throughout the county.

“We will drive two hours in any direction and cater our presentation to any group,” he said. “We’re trying to take a proactive approach to see this doesn’t happen.”

Becky Mooney of the Brunswick County Concerned Bikers Association also visits the drivers’ education classes every two weeks to teach students the importance of safety while sharing the road with motorcyclists.

“We as bikers can feel a little safer out on the road knowing we’re promoting safety,” she said.

Mooney said she and her husband have both been in accidents and have had many friends die while riding. She said bikers are often not seen until it’s too late, and students are taught to look left, look right and look left again before making a turn. More often than not, motorcyclists are killed when a car makes a left-hand turn in front of one and doesn’t see it.

“Look for the mouse, not the elephant,” she tells the students. “Motorcycles are often hidden behind larger vehicles.” 

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

How close?

Turn speakers up please.  You need to pay attention to this one.

And remember it the next time you're making a left hand turn.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

MC Awareness Tips

For the motorist:
  1. Share the road with motorcycles.  While a motorcycle will only ride in 1/3 of the lane, he's entitled to the entire lane.  NEVER try to share a lane with a motorcycle!
  2. Anticipate motorcycles in traffic and include them in your search pattern.  They're out there.  They're smaller than a car so you must LOOK for them.
  3. Understand the motorcyclists' intentions BEFORE proceeding into its path.  We're not racing, take a moment to realize what's going on in traffic.
  4. ALWAYS signal your intentions when driving.  Note that magic stick on your steering column's left side.  These lights indicate to surrounding vehicles what you're doing.  These lights are to be turned on before your maneuver to SIGNAL your INTENT.  When you slam on your brakes, then light the're doing it wrong.
  5. Respect a motorcycle's additional stopping distance requirements, DON'T TAILGATE!  A motorcycle only has two brakes compared to a car's four.  Apply the 3 second rule when following.
  6. Do not drink and drive.
For the motorcyclist:
  1. Get trained and be properly licensed.  School is not for sissies!  There are beginner's riding courses and experienced riders courses.  You'd be amazed at the bad habits you pick up over time.  Get your learn on and keep your riding skills polished and ready at all times.  Also, if you're riding around without an endorsement, when you are ticketed you're giving the entire motorcycling community a bad rap and contributing to bad stats.  Be a part of the solution folks.
  2. Use TCLOCS for your pre-ride inspection.  (Tires and wheels, Controls, Lights and electrics, Oil and fluids, Chassis, Side stand)  Remember, when your bike is not properly maintained, you're putting yourself AND those you're riding with in danger.  Help a Brother out!
  3. Use SEE to help reduce your risk in traffic.  Search, Evaluate, Execute.  Ride like you are invisible!
  4. Remember that SPEED is for the RACE TRACK.  (WARNING:  This link is GRAPHIC.)  I know those crotch rockets can go really fast, but I would rather you test those limits in a controlled area and LIVE than busy streets and highways and end up like that guy.
  5. Know your limits, don't drink and ride.  I know you're on a poker run on a hot day.  Please enjoy an adult beverage (an as in one, then hang out for a bit to let metabolism work its magic) but don't get shit-faced.  Your impaired riding can hurt you, your brothers and your family.  Don't be an ass.  I have a personal story on this one and will share it some time this month.  Again, DON'T BE AN ASS!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Look Twice Much?

Have you ever seen a bumper sticker or billboard that reads:


These are usually distributed and paid for by motorcyclists.  We lose A LOT of good friends, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters to left turns gone wrong.
  • We recently discussed this man getting killed by a drunk driver turning left.
  • This lady died because she didn't have time to stop at the STOP sign and a dump truck ran her over.
  • This young lady has a long road of recovery in front of her because the semi she turned left in front of couldn't stop his 18 wheels in time.
Note these two women did not see a dump truck nor a semi.  These vehicles are MUCH LARGER than motorcycles.  

So yes, please DO remember to LOOK TWICE SAVE A LIFE.  In all actuality, the life you save could be YOUR OWN!!

I know we lead very busy lives.  Sometimes we get a little behind schedule and think we can make up for lost time on the road by speeding.  Please don't let those 15 minutes you were late result in the death of my friends and family, or even yourself!  You are driving a 2 ton weapon, be responsible.

Friday, May 1, 2009

May is Motorcycle Awareness Month

(Dang it, I had a feeling that last post was not going to work out the way I wanted it to!  I wanted to show you the signed copy since it has been enacted into law.  Here's a copy of the bill's language so you can read it.  We usually have to do this every single year but this time we got some "revolving" language so every May until the end of time will be MC Awareness Month in North Carolina.  WOO HOO!!)



H                                                                                                                                                    1




Short Title:        Motorcycle Awareness Month.



Representatives Burris‑Floyd, Folwell, Allred, Stevens (Primary Sponsors);  Avila, Barnhart, Blackwell, Blackwood, Blue, Blust, Boles, Brubaker, Burr, Current, Daughtry, Dollar, Earle, Faison, Farmer‑Butterfield, Fisher, E. Floyd, Glazier, Goforth, Goodwin, Grady, Guice, Gulley, Hall, Harrison, Hilton, Howard, Hurley, Jackson, Johnson, Jones, Justus, Killian, Lucas, Mackey, McComas, McElraft, McLawhorn, Mills, Mobley, Moore, Neumann, Parmon, Randleman, Rhyne, Sager, Samuelson, Stam, Steen, Sutton, Tillis, Underhill, E. Warren, Weiss, Whilden, Wilkins, Williams, and Womble.

Referred to:

State Government/State Personnel.

March 23, 2009



Whereas, motorcycle riding is a popular form of recreation and transportation for thousands of citizens across North Carolina and the United States; and

Whereas, North Carolina has over 132,000 registered motorcycles and over 260,000 licensed drivers who have either a motorcycle endorsement or a motorcycle learners permit; and

Whereas, it is important that the citizens of North Carolina be aware of motorcycles on the roadways and recognize the importance of motorcycle safety and of sharing the roadways; and

Whereas, the safe operation of a motorcycle is enhanced through a combination of rider training and experience, good judgment, and a knowledge of traffic laws and licensing requirements; and

Whereas, several organizations, such as the Concerned Bikers Association/ABATE of North Carolina, along with the North Carolina Motorcycle Safety Education Program, and other State and local motorcycle clubs and riding or social clubs, are committed to increasing the safe operation of motorcycles by promoting rider safety education programs; their goal is to alert the motorists of the Great State of North Carolina to a Safety Promotion known as "Look Twice, Save a Life, Motorcycles are Everywhere"; and

Whereas, Motorcycle Awareness Month is designed to increase public awareness about motorcycles and to encourage their safe and proper use among motorcycle riders; Now, therefore,

The General Assembly of North Carolina enacts:

SECTION 1.  Chapter 103 of the General Statutes is amended by adding a new section to read:

"§ 103‑12.  Motorcycle Awareness Month.

The month of May of each year is designated as Motorcycle Awareness Month in the State of North Carolina."

SECTION 2.  This act is effective when it becomes law.


pro·claim            Listen to the pronunciation of proclaim
\prō-ˈklām, prə-\
transitive verb
Middle English proclamen, from Anglo-French or Latin; Anglo-Frenchproclamer, from Latin proclamare, from pro- before + clamare to cry out — more atpro-claim
14th century

1 a: to declare publicly, typically insistently, proudly, or defiantly and in either speech or writing : announce b: to give outward indication of : show proclaimed his genteel upbringing>2: to declare or declare to be solemnly, officially, or formally <proclaim an amnesty><proclaim the country a republic>3: to praise or glorify openly or publicly : extol <proclaimed the rescue workers' efforts>
synonyms see declare

— pro·claim·er noun