I tell him, "Junior! Go feed your cat!!"
He jumps up out of our bed to tend to his cat duties.
"Dad! DAD! DAD!!!" he yells.
Junior has just learned the power of the shart.
I get to the bathroom and it's just as amazing as it is disgusting. Remember that spinning paint toy from when we were kids? It was just like that but brown.
Rough way to start the morning, and before the coffee was made! Junior did come up to me later in the morning and apologize. "I'm sorry I pooped in the floor, mom."
"Its ok buddy, I know the medicine you're taking for your ear infection is upsetting your tummy."
"Yeah, it makes my poop lazy."
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I spent the morning making watermelon ice cream. It came out great!
I also made three pies: Strawberry and Keylime Weight Watchers pies and a Texas Lemon pie. I spent the previous day in the kitchen as well. I was tired so I took a nap.
When I woke up from my nap I thought it felt hot in here so I went to check the thermostat. It was set to 72 but read 78. Great, now on top of the problems we're having with the water heater, we now have a cooling problem.
On the plus side, we're having some fantastic weather so we're not roasting to death in a muggy house.
******************
Cut to this evening, just after we'd finished being entertained by the whistling, exploding, smoking display of our hard earned-easily burned money, trying to get everything put away and everyone inside.
I'm stacking chairs on the porch and Junior walks up. "Hey mom, you remember this morning when I farted but I pooped instead?"
"Yeah buddy, I sure do." And OMG, do I ever, it was awful!
"It happened again."
At least this time it was outside and I had a water hose nearby.
Icing on the Crappy Birthday America cake: I had a nephew puking in the flower bed and a niece with diarrhea blowing up the main bathroom.
p.s. The ice cream was delicious.
4 comments:
I'm sorry, but this made me giggle. Man, I love poo talk. My best friend's husband regularly sharts (though not quite so epic-like as your son) and will then announce it to anyone who is within earshot. Yup- he's charming like that.
I guess that when you get older it's something to be proud of for some men?
The watermelon ice cream looks fab, by the way.
I've gotten over the *groan* and it makes me giggle now too.
Men are weird.
Apparently our children have learned to do all things together! Laney did boast that she made it to the toilet. Girls are mean like that. Plus she is most jealous that Jr. has a cat and not her.
And I am grateful that Laney made it! Especially Doyle, he had just finished cleaning all of our carpets that morning.
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