Friday, August 27, 2010

I totally called it!

Dirty words.  I played in the Zen Garden this morning; after swishing, swirling and moving rocks, I ended up with the word FART written in the sand and a pile of rocks to the side.  I'd show you a photo but I left the camera in the car like a dumbass.  (We're a one car family, I only get to drive Monday - Thursday.  I'm a good driver, I can drive on the driveway real good.  And the sidewalk even better!)

I can't even post Junior's photo from his first morning at kindergarten.  Sweet, sweet release, thy name is KINDERGARTEN!!  He's been bugging us all summer to go and when hubs and I delivered him to his classroom this morning we were pretty much dismissed by his small, brown "SHOO!!" hand.

So....in other news, I think the Bible has an error in it.  Forget war, famine and pestilence, I'm pretty sure the first sign of the Apocalypse is my uterus falling out.  Why does getting older have to be such a pain in the ass?  And why, after all these lovely menses years, does my period show up DIFFERENT every freakin' time?  This time around it seems that the tall Y grass in the yard of our un-cut lawn has burrowed itself under my cranky skin.

Don't forget we have a spare lot too.  Full of effing TALL Y GRASS.

RAGE!  I has it, now please pass the Midol!!

Exit 99:  I figured out what all of that oriental-like spam in my comments was about.  They were mostly in Chinese and all trying to sell penis pills.  Awesome.  I'm still not going to moderate (too lazy for that) but at least Blogger seems to have improved controlling unmoderated comments.  I'll try to remember to translate some of them for you next time they show up.  In case you're interested in that kind of stuff.  (Someone please tell me why the internet is controlled/censored in China but they can still spam the crap out of you trying to get you to buy medicine for your hot rocket love needs to please her?)  (And after all these years, how come the internet STILL doesn't know I don't have a penis?)

2 comments:

Lady Ridesalot said...

Have you ever considered doing "stand up"? :D

You always make me laugh... have a great day!

Nicole said...

Get some Tootsie Rolls and leave them in a hot car till the are soft and pliable. Roll them till they look like cat turds and use them to decorate your Zen Garden! It will feel like cleaning out the liter box without George bothering you.