Gettin' paid

What I did on my paid day off:

• Washed 3 loads of mandatory pre-weekend laundry:  towels, jeans, colors.
• Cleaned my bedroom proving the bed is surrounded on three sides by actual floor space.
• Discovered closet floor, threw out 4 pair of shoes - an act proving I deserved that manicure this week.
• Made sweet, sweet love to my Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer:  2 loaves of delicious banana nut bread, 1 strawberry pie.  Gave 1 loaf of bread to Homegirl who stopped by for a visit, devoured other loaf and pie at New Year's Eve celebration.
• Enslaved the new crockpot to heat lil' smokies and bbq sauce to a bubbly goodness.
• Celebrated my Wolfgang Puck pots and pans first birthday by whipping up a batch of black eyed peas.
• Cleaned massive war field of a kitchen.
• Paid bills, balanced checkbook.

These are the days I love my job the most.

See ya 2010

Victory: Take it where you can get it!

I ran office errands today. I usually do that on Wednesdays but the tree service was there and I was going to have to move the truck anyways....

I parked at the garden center entrance to Walmart.  I went in all renegade-style without a cart.  I picked up hand soap (only a few isles over), salt and pepper (cross majority of store, taking the scenic route through the small appliances to ogle the crock pots), lunch (frozen, almost to the farthest wall of the store) and a pack of toilet paper (apocalypse '72' size).  Then walked aaaaall the way back across the store to the garden center check out.

I am SO counting that as exercise.

Even though getting in to The Walmart via the garden center is a piece of cake, getting out is always interesting.  Due to my shortness, and the underwhelming desire to stand on the brake pedal with one foot, lift/stand with the other leg and contort around in a 360 degree "Is it safe?  Can I move this truck without hitting anything?" view, I will go out of my way to park alone and take a long walk to the store.  I did that today, pulling through into the top parking spot so my big, black pintle hitch hangs into the bottom spot.  Alone.  If I knew it would work, I'd pee on the tires so no one would park around me and my Giant Company Pickup Truck of Paranoia.

Of course, 79% of the time (estimated*) some small car will park next to me making it IMPOSSIBLE for me to pull out of my space the direction I prefer to exit (varies by location).  Today's friendly small car parked on the right side, exactly in the direction I wanted to leave.  Paranoia truck runs away from danger, just like the elephant and mouse.  I exit to the left and I didn't want to make a tight turn into the next isle over so I opt for the next one.

Holy crap, it's the LAST isle.  The access road, the way to the freedom of Main Street is guarded by a long, grassy island.  The island comes to a sharp, pointy end that looks like it has just enough evil in it to take strike out and leave a nasty rub on the tire.  I squinted hard to concentrate, hell I might have even closed one eye but I did it.  A little to the left and a hard swing right, I cleared the pointy island end, even without molesting the space in the empty oncoming traffic lane.  Too badly.  OK.  The lane was empty so of course, I drove the hell all over it.

I'm SO counting that as kick-ass pickup truck driving.

*No math was harmed, or performed, in this post.

Is this what it feels like?

To be a grown up, I mean.

There's been a tree crew clearing up around the power lines outside my office all day and not one single time have I had a daydream / fantasy about that lovely wood chipper they're using!

Breakin' the Law

Murphy's Law isn't always right.

Sometimes the toast does not land butter side down.

Once in a great while, you will actually catch the toast as it's falling.

With your left hand.

Sure it rained crumbs in a pretty sweet arc pattern.

But you caught the toast.

WINNER!!

Isn't it awesome to be a woman?

You know how you know your bastard calendar is telling you your Special Gift from Mother Nature is only 5 days away - not that you need that crappy calendar, your hurty boobs and poor attitude is clear signal....

But you're at work, trapped in your paneled-wall cocoon, super pissed off that you didn't pack any Halloween candy in your bag today because "you don't really need it"  (DIE, Jiminy Cricket, DIE!!  Stupid conscious.), it's Monday, you had to WALK back to the office in the COLD to drop off a stupidly damaged pickup truck and check someone's PRECIOUS FREAKIN' MAIL before you can do any of your duties you were hired to do, and could it BE any HOTTER in this WORK HOLE OF DEATH and NO CHOCOLATE??!!

You remember the watermelon gum.  You dig into your purse for that sacred bag of mints and gum because DAMMIT if you don't have something sweet RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW, your day is going to end with the flash bang of the SWAT team...

And you find THREE mini-size candy bars, glowing in their deliciousness....I am woman!  Hear me munch!!

Suck it hormones, I WIN!!  Yes, I still win, even when I'm laying in the floor surrounded by candy wrappers.

I am afraid. Very afraid.

I just put my frozen lunch in the microwave.  As I shut the door and pressed start, I remembered I put on a pot of pinto beans for dinner when I left the house this morning.

This is my lunch: