Tuesday, March 31, 2009

WORD to your mother.

I'm no Bill Gates fan but he WAS smart enough to make Word yell at us for incorrect spelling and bad grammar.  However, Mr. Gates was not smart enough to make that Paperclip (as annoying as he is) a little more bossy about format.

You know - for those moments when someone:
  1. use spaces instead of tabs
  2. use tabs then add a space so the number will scootch over
  3. use ENTER repeatedly instead of using page break
Paperclip just watches all of this, and lets it happen.

I just inherited a copy of the company's MODEL X which I need to submit to a customer, proving we have a MODEL X.

The MODEL X was prepared in Word and eventually turned into a pocket size MODEL X.

The initial layer outer of MODEL X did not choose to use the formatting guides in Word, they used a weird-assed margin setting, a bunch of spaces, gobs of unnecessary returns and flip flopped between TWO FONTS throughout the document (and I'm not just being anal about the fonts, it's truly UGLY and reeks unprofessional).

Dear Paperclip,

Where were you when this was all happening?  You SAW what was going on.  Your googly cartoon eyes ignored the grossness of a poorly laid out document.  

And yet, here you sit and mockingly blink your dastardly stare at me while I painstakingly go line by line thru this hideous document.

YOU SUCK!!  And I hope you die a slow, rusty, bent death.


basicliving@backtobasicliving.com said...

This post really spoke to me. I hate that ridiculous bug eyed paper clip. And when he does actually DO something he annoys me with it. I'd like to slap his happy little wire face right off of him. I usually send him into purgatory and refuse to use him.

Wow, I never knew how strongly I felt about this until reading your post. Rock on Jocelyn. Your blog always makes me smile.


Mr. Motorcycle said...

O.K., Now, I'm wondering how poorly my writing layout, and grammar is.

Jocelyn said...

My rant is purely based on a professional situation where money is exchanged for talent. And someone totally just ripped off my profit sharing plan!!

But if that Paperclip ever expects to get any respect (or face time) from me, he should instigate a trial and error feature. Maybe you have to properly format 10 memos before you can make Paperclip go away.

OOooohhh or a USB attachment that whips out a ruler to smack one's knuckles when spaces are used instead of tabs. That would rock my world!!

The Best Revenge said...

I love the little comic. Having worked with the people who created Clippy, I can tell you that he is hotly debated. You can change the paperclip into a cat or a dog, if you like those better (which if I had designed it would then piddle on your mistakes).