The Magic Helmet

http://www.starnewsonline.com/article/20090426/ARTICLES/904269964/1017/NEWS0102

One man was taken to the hospital and another to the police station Sunday night after a wreck, which police suspect was alcohol-related.

A man driving a motorcycle suffered life-threatening injuries when he collided with a Jeep SUV that turned in front of him on Market Street just before 8 p.m., said Lt. D.G. Lanier of the Wilmington Police Department.

The motorcyclist was headed east on Market Street near the intersection of Wilmington Ave., Lanier said, citing a preliminary investigation.

The SUV driver, a man, had been heading west on Market Street and was turning left onto Wilmington Avenue.

The SUV driver left the scene and drove about two blocks before parking his vehicle and walking back.

The motorcyclist was taken to New Hanover Regional Medical Center.

Lanier said police were in the early stages of the investigation, and had yet to determine all the factors that could have contributed to the crash.

The SUV driver had been arrested, Lanier said. Police suspect he was driving drunk.

Officers planned to investigate the wreck further, police said.

The motorcycle driver was wearing a helmet.

– David Reynolds

Nothing pisses me off more than the last line of this article.  It wouldn't matter if he was wearing clown shoes and a mohawk, the SUV driver WAS DRUNK, violated the biker's right of way by turning left INTO him, then proceeded to drive away.

Sadly, this motorcyclist died.  The SUV driver is being charged with a DWI and two felonies:  hit and run and death by motor vehicle.  And even sadder, there is NO GUARANTEE this asshat will serve any jail time for killing a biker.  While driving drunk.

May is Motorcycle Awareness Month.  I have many posts planned on this, but in the mean time - can you please remember to 

LOOK TWICE AND SAVE A LIFE!!

Morning Conversation

During our morning Fight Club (brush teeth, comb hair, wash face) Junior informed me that he'd recently had a conversation.

Junior:  I talked to Mr. Grandpa.

Me:  Oh yeah, what did you guys talk about?

Junior:  I like Tahlee.  I give Mr. Grandpa fifteen dollars.

Me:  You're going to give Mr. Grandpa fifteen dollars?

Junior:  Yes.  And then I take Tahlee.

I can see that the kid is just not going to give up on that cat!!  And Dad....whatever you do, DO NOT accept any monies from that boy!!

Happy Birthday

Lee Anne Redwine

1964 - 2007

You were the big sister I never had.  

You were the auntie I always wanted to hang out with.  

You were the friend I could always count on.

You were the savvy entrepreneur who taught me the way.

You were the best NASCAR buddy and Talladega will never be the same to me.

You were.

I are.

And I miss you.

Let's try something new

I don't always have my *stuff* together in the mornings.  This usually results with me buying and eating unhealthly (but tasty, cheesey or fried) lunches.  I actually spend money to make my ass large(r) at least 4 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year!!

Well I did have my stuff together this morning.  Junior and I left the house at 7:00 and went straight to Wally World.  I have food, mostly good food, here at the office!

I'm trying out this new sammich bread.  It's different.  It's small.  It doesn't get all bready when you're eating a sammich.  I like it.  It made a lovely turkey, provolone and romaine lettuce sammich.  AND....5 grams of fiber in them there 2 slices.

I've been liking this new juice:

I discovered it during basketball season.  We had to drop in the grocery store to get more Gatorade.  I wanted something to drink besides another soda or more freakin' water.  I saw the strawberry, cantaloupe and watermelon on the front and decided to give it a try.  It's actually pretty tasty but does have a bit of wang on the aftertaste.   The six pack sells for $5.99

 but today, after the VACATIONING LOCUSTS raided our store, there was only singles left.  Singles are $1.50 and that really chapped my hide.  I did buy 2 so I'd at least have one for tomorrow too.  Side note to the "slenderize" on this label:  Kiss.  My.  Ass.  I like you for your melons and 20 calories (versus a soda).  

I picked up a box of Nutri-Grain cereal bars in strawberry.  Wow, I didn't know I could be so disappointed in $2.50 of strawberry.  The filling is too sweet and there's not enough "cereal", the ratio is way off.  

I will probably try to sell these to Junior.  They're sweet enough for his taste and they are individually wrapped...also to his taste.  He can't read so I'm pretty sure if I tell him it's a cookie, he'll believe me.  

I picked up a package of celery.  I'm the only one who will eat it at the house.  I forgot I was taking this celery to the office and did not remember to pick up any peanut butter.  Which is OK, I ate a rib of celery with my sammich to replace the chip CRUNCH that is so satisfying to enjoy while eating a sammich.  I don't know why the boys have such a hard time with celery.  It's loud 

and crunchy, good celery quenches your thirst as you eat it and it has no calories!  I think I even heard some kind of BS that celery has negative calories.  

Oprah and Dr. Oz are always talking about how awesome nuts are for you.  I love me some almonds so instead of going for the salty wasabi ones, I picked up the all natural ones.  And I could not believe how tasty they were!  These are SO GOOD and when I added 28 of them to my lunch plate, I did not miss french fries or potato chips at all.

So maybe if I eat like this 4 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year I'll lose 5 pounds.  Or just save all that dining out cash and get it all sucked out....

This week in Boy Land...

WELCOME TO SPRING BREAK.  THESE ARE THE RULES.

NOBODY COMES OVER TO HANG OUT AT MY HOUSE.

YOU MAY COME AND GO AS YOU PLEASE IF:

1.  YOU CALL ME FIRST AND ADVISE OF WHO YOU ARE WITH, WHAT YOU PLAN TO DO AND WHEN YOU WILL BE HOME.

2.  ALWAYS HAVE YOUR CELL PHONE ON.

3.  ALWAYS HAVE YOUR HOUSE KEY.

4.  YOU MAKE SURE MYA IS TAKEN CARE OF BEFORE YOU GO:  WATER IN DISH, MAKE SURE SHE’S NOT LEFT OUTSIDE, MAKE SURE SHE’S NOT TOO HOT IF LEFT IN THE HOUSE.

BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE, YOU MUST MAKE SURE YOU SECURE IT!!  WINDOWS CLOSED AND LOCKED, DOORS DEADBOLTED.  IF I COME HOME AND FIND AN UNSECURED AREA, I WILL TAKE YOUR STUFF TO THE PAWN SHOP JUST LIKE A FREAKIN’ THEIF.

YOUR CURFEW FOR THE WEEK IS 10:00 PM, PERIOD.

REMEMBER THAT HUSBAND IS OUT OF TOWN THIS WEEK SO DON’T MAKE ANYTHING DIFFICULT FOR ME.  IT WILL NOT BE PRETTY.

THANK YOU FOR BEING SMART.  WEAR CLEAN UNDERWEAR, SAY PLEASE AND THANK YOU, YADDA, YADDA.

Happy Easter!

I so wish I could take that monkey to the Easter Party at Big O's today. 

I will be taking this monkey:

see more pwn and owned pictures

Yeah, I know those are Christmas wreaths on the window but the sign still rings true for today.

Dear Dad....

I think I just found your people.

If you ever go missing, we'll know where to find you.

I'm the oldest

I have two sisters and a brother.  

My younger sister died when she was four months old.  It was December.  Two weeks before Christmas.  I remember my mother telling me about the funeral we were having for her.  I remember her telling me that they would be playing "Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder and "they edited out all the sounds."  (I wouldn't discover the edited out parts until I was 20ish and I think I died a little more when I did figure it out.)  I remember wearing my Blue Bird uniform and sitting with my friends in the church.  I remember that tiny casket.  

I thought that was the saddest thing ever and I would not want to touch or be around a baby for a very long time after that.  I have always felt so sad for my parents and the club they had joined but no one wanted to be a member of.  

I remember opening Christmas presents a few weeks later.  I remember my dad pulling out another gift from under the tree for either my sister or me to open.  The present was not for either one of us, it was for Andrea.  And I remember that sucked.

I remember my mom joining a grief group to help her get thru such a difficult thing.  I remember how some of her fellow grievers were angry when she got knocked up with my brother.  

And you'd better believe all kinds of sunshine, love and goodness poured onto brother's not-so-small ass when he arrived.  We all spoiled his ass rotten so we could fill the missing void of Andrea's presence.  He was so spoiled that he didn't walk until after he turned one.  Who needs to walk when you can be toted around like the prince he was?

And then there were three.  It ended up that we're all 5 years apart.  Close enough to beat and torture each other on a regular basis but not so close we ever had to go to school together.  As the oldest I certainly did keep to my duties of keeping the younger two in line.  Sure, it was mostly my line they were towing but I can't help it if I'm smarter than you...and bigger.  All the easier to pin you to the floor and tickle you until you pee your pants, my pretty! (Good thing that house had linoleum floors, huh?  Way easy to hide the evidence!)

As we've grown into adults, I am still the oldest but now I find myself in a different place.  While we are not a particularly close brood, I am still sought out for dirty deeds.

Unfortunately, my sister and her husband are now members of the club my parents joined so long ago.  And it hurts me in many, many ways.  I know exactly where her anger is.  And I'm trying to not let it eat me alive.

Pray.

FIRST!!

Lots of firsts this weekend.

First big mow.  The Husband mowed and mowed and mowed.  Back and front yards, then the spare lot.  Thankfully, we have a riding lawn mower to manage that much area.  It was a hand-me-down from my Memaw.  It's an old-school Snapper JUST LIKE the one Forest Gump drove around.  It's old as hell but she keeps on running.  And running, and running.  

First bloom.  I counted 25 amaryllis blooms the other day.  I don't recall having any more than 12 the prior years.  I'm glad to see the 'roids paid off.  Saturday morning gave way to the first one blooming and as a bonus, the banana tree is coming back to life.  I expect to see 3 to 5 leaves on it by the weekend.  WOO HOO!!

First lizard.  So awesome to see the little guys running around again.  The lizard I saw was stalking around the amaryllis and lilies so I reckon he's eating bugs off my plants.  Thank you Mr. Lizard!

First hummingbird.  My BFF came by Sunday and as we were chatting it up on the front porch I caught buzzing in my eye line and saw a hummer buzzing at the empty feeder.  So I cleaned and filled the feeder so all of my little friends stop by for a drink.  Hummingbirds are the best show in town.

First sprouts.  I bought a seed tray to get my flower boxes up and running.  (Better late than never, right?)  And I also planted the garden seeds:  broccoli, squash, zucchini, cucumbers.  The seeds started sprouting by Sunday afternoon and as of Monday afternoon it looks like most of the seeds were successful.  Junior is excited because he can grow and pick all the TWO NUMBERS he can eat!  Now if we can just find a "Ranch" bush to plant...

First independent.  I don't know if you'd call it independent or actual use of imagination - Junior playing and not requiring someone to help him play.  I wanted to watch the race, Husband was packing up getting ready to work out of town this week and Junior wanted to be outside.  I turned up the TV, opened the windows and sat on the porch working crosswords and turning left while Junior played with a water gun, a bowl of water and all the rocks he could find.  And everybody was happy and no one had issues of the 4 year old I NEED variety.  

First breather.  Too much stress in March.  TOO MUCH.  This weekend was the first time in a while that I haven't felt like I was....well, was.  It was nice to feel comfortable and relaxed.  I did my shopping early on Saturday and that was about all I had to do.  It was awesome.

So all that good stuff, and the Husband being gone left me sitting and thinking last night.  I have a big week ahead of me.  The annual Easter gig is Sunday.  I have cakes and pies to make, change to plunder, baskets to buy and fill up.  No rest for the wicked!