Monday, December 8, 2008

FAIL: Driving down Main Street

So I'm on my way to the post office and BLAM! A dude in a truck decided he and I needed to play bumper cars.

Truck dude was making a LEFT out of a parking lot onto Main Street. We have those lovely TURN LANES in the middle of the road so I thought he was going to whip it into the turn lane and wait for me to pass by before he got into the right (my) lane.

PSYCHE!!! He wasn't trying to get into the turn lane, he was bringing it on out. Out and right into my rear quarter panel.


The crash was not very hard, hard enough to know jackass made contact but it didn't push me over onto the street curb.

I pulled over into the parking lot of EVERYBODY EATS HERE FOR LUNCH buffet place and called 911. I call bossman to let him know I'll be a while. I call Husband to share my exciting news.

Jackass and I make idle chit cat waiting for the poe leece to arrive.

Jackass proceeds to tell me he didn't see me. Um...YO! DOG! I'm driving an SUV, what did you NOT see? The he tries to tell me that he thought I was further back in traffic. I fight every fiber of my being to not shout GET YOUR DAMNED PRESCRIPTION CHECKED!! into his coke-bottle glassed eyes.

Based on the "didn't see" excuse he gave and the fact we're sitting here as a result of a LEFT TURN gone wrong, I politely tell jackass that if I'd been riding a motorcycle when he'd turned left into me I'd be dead. Jackass tries to tell me, "Oh no, you'd probably just fall over and get a little dinged up. I have bikers in my family." To that little tid bit, I add, "Well Jackass, one of my very bestest girlfriends was killed when a driver turned left into her. She did not get banged up, her guts were squished up into her body and she died." I decided I'm done talking to Jackass.

Then his mom shows up.

His MOM.

And the poe leece arrive. TWO CARS! I tell 911 there's no injuries, both vehicles run and still they send two cars.

Of course, the poe leece DO NOT give Jackass a ticket. We're both given one of these lovely "Record of Collision" reports. "Vehicle #1 was traveling North in Northbound land when Vehicle #2 pulled out of Duffer's and merged into the back side of #1."

Jackass's mommy inspects the damage and proclaims there's hardly any damage. Mommy informs me that Daddy would rather pay for the repair instead of filing insurance. Mommy gives me cell phone numbers of Mommy and Daddy and we part ways.

According to the collision report, Jackass is 19. He was born the summer I graduated from high school. The ONLY car crash I've caused happened when I was 19. And it was something stupid just like Jackass.

I was pulling a left from a side street into a 4 lane highway. I pulled into the lane closest to me but I hung out the front end a tad too much into the right lane and hit the back tire of a four-door sedan full of old folks. I cried so hard because I was so worried about those old folks. They were awesome and polite to me. My mommy did not have to come to the crash scene. My parents didn't pay for my mistake. I paid some pretty good insurance premiums for a while but that's the point, right? There's a penalty for YOU when YOU screw up.

I have not caused a crash since. I learned.

When mommy brings me a check from Daddy tomorrow, what is Jackass going to learn?

No comments: