How much is too much?

From the time the previews started airing in early summer, I knew I was going to watch Sons of Anarchy on FX. I'm a huge fan of Nip/Tuck and I assumed that SOA would be just as good as N/T and SOA was based on an m/c so I knew it would keep my attention.

(I am a member of an SMRO which is so very NOT anything like an m/c but I am down with motorcycles and brotherhood. I've read a few club books so I have an idea of m/c culture. An idea. No real clue because I've not been there, but an idea. Not trying to go there either. Mommy likey scoots is the point I'm trying to make here.)

I have so thoroughly enjoyed watching Sons of Anarchy this season. I had to watch the majority of this season by myself. After the show started in September, the husband shipped out to Texas for work. Unfortunately, he was without TV for a few weeks and when he finally did get moved into a TV friendly area, no FX so he's not been able to keep up with the show. Poor husband, he really missed out. He's been home for two episodes now and he's so sorry he missed out. We'll be renting the series on Netflix for sure.

So I watched the majority of the series by myself, completely immersed. No pesky husband bothering me, talking/asking questions when I'm trying to listen, no nudge-nudge, wink-wink. Just me and SAMCRO all cuddled up in the bed every Wednesday night at 10:00 pm. Sometimes I'd watch again at 11:00 pm. I usually watch reruns on hulu.com too...just to be sure I didn't miss anything important.

And there are many plot lines to follow but the one that has struck me the most is Opie and Donna. I've always thought about how potentially difficult it could be to raise a family in an m/c. Opie just pulled 5 years in jail and has returned home to do-it-all Donna and two kids. Opie landed in jail because a brother-turned-rat testified against him. (wicked revenge on said rat ensues - WICKED I tell you!!) Donna is pissed because she sees that she lost her husband to the club's business and consequence. I'm sure the club helped her out when she needed it, Gemma bought her some groceries at least once this season. But basically Donna hates the club.

Opie walks the fine line upon arriving at home. Working a "real" job at the mill. The job he hates. The job that barely puts money on the table. Opie comes around the m/c in a limited capacity, minding his parole status to keep out of trouble.

Opie struggles. He loves Donna and his children, he has a burning desire to take care of them and make up for the last 5 years he's been gone. Opie has the uncomfortable "do I still fit in here" vibe both at home and at the m/c. In a manly way, Opie shares his struggle with Jax and they have some (what I like to call) bro-mantic conversations.

Bills are falling behind, Donna continues to bitch about money and the club. Donna starts packing her shit telling Opie she's leaving, she can't take it anymore. "It's me and the kids or the club."

And Opie opens up the dam on her....and I get all big-eyed and lean forward...

Opie lets his quiet rage open to Donna and he tells her he's not leaving the club. He is a brother and he loves his club. He is a father and he loves his children. He is a husband and he loves his wife. That's why he does all these things, love and income. Opie pretty much tells her, "I love you, I love my kids, I love my club. The club puts good money on the table. The club makes me happy, it's where I belong. I do these things to take care of you and the kids. I LOVE YOU AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THEN YOU CAN LEAVE." Opie then plops down a fat envelope of cash on the kitchen table and leaves.

I. So. Swoon. Hooray Opie! Hooray love! Hooray for love from a big ol' burly biker.

Then that ATF bitch screws every damn thing up. Oh how I loathe her. I giggled with GLEE when Otto dribbled her head like a basketball on the interrogation room table. Best basketball game I ever saw.

ATF bitch sets up Opie to look like he's ratted on the club. Balls-out set up at that. Swoops the whole family up to some kind of witness protection program clearing house center, pays off huge chunks of debt for Opie. Opie and Donna stand together strong against the ATF and are eventually allowed to return home. Opie goes home with a bug in his cell phone and his truck. Tig finds said bugs, tells Clay and the two of them are convinced Opie's ratting and decide to knock off Opie.

AFTER Opie saves Tig's (WORTHLESS!!) hide in a transaction gone wrong and pops a cap in a dude's ass to keep Tig (who is scared of DOLLS!) from taking a bullet in the head, Tig has the nerve to DRAW a shot in the back of Opie's head but can't do it. Opie just saved his life.

I don't remember what Tig told Clay about the failed hit but they decide to try again later that evening after Abel's welcome home party.

As Opie and Donna are leaving the party, Donna decides she wants to stay and help Gemma clean up. Opie agrees to take the kids home. They switch cars.

I'm yelling, "No! No! Don't switch cars!! Don't LEAVE. Stay at the party!!" Of course they don't listen to me and Donna gets machine gunned down by Tig as she's driving Opie's truck to the store to buy some cleaning supplies.

I am so heartbroken. Opie and Donna were in a good place. Their love and commitment to family AND CLUB was just reaffirmed. Written in stone and carved in ink. DAMMIT MAN!!

Oh I was so upset. I was trying not to cry, I could tell the ugly cry was coming on. My throat grew a huge ball in it, eyes watered, nose got runny. I was trying to stay quiet so I could hear the TV (oh yeah....it's just TV) but they started playing that damn sad music and I just quit fighting. Tears rolled.

They cut to a scene of Tig and he was bleeding from his forehead (more like a FIVEhead) and husband said, "He shot himself!" and I just blurted out a crying "GOOD!"

I still think about it. Stupid ATF Lady, bastard Tig, shithead Clay. ARG!

And this morning on the way to work...I saw a car just like Donna's and all those feelings rushed back. Dammit. It's JUST A TV SHOW!

Judging from next week's previews I don't think Tig shot himself but I do believe Jax will be doing some serious avenging next week.

Is it Wednesday yet?